So,

It's 3:49 & I'm up crying over my past....
I can't get "HIM" out of my head. I loved him.
I love him. & he's been the only guy I've ever trully loved,
my entire life. I'm crying as I write this...
It hurts so bad, to love someone- who doesn't love you back.
And if he does love me back... I sure as hell can't tell.
Because REAL love, NEVER disappears.
Never randomly just goes away. It can't disappear because you want it to.
It's like a ghost & no matter what you do or how hard you try-
You'll always love them.... & that's how I know he doesn't love me.

Life doesn't ask you what you want.
But sometimes you have to tell it. And not give up.
I guess I made the mistake and gave up....
And I let go. I haven't looked back until now.
Until it hurt the most, but is all I ever wanted.
It's what I want. I love that kid more than anyone has ever loved anything.
He has been my whole world... for a while.
( a time I won't mention- cause you'll probably think I'm crazy )
Sooo, I leave you with this-
L-O-V-E (?)
Meaning? Does love trully exsist? Can it ever be mutually as strong between two people? Or is it nothing more, thn a metaphor... Simply a slice of fiction meant to teach us all different lessons in life....? Maybe just heartache. That's all "love" has EVER left me with, heartache.

GoodNight. Simply, Jordyn.